Talk is cheap. Opening your mouth and letting the words flow out costs you nothing; no time, no real energy and, especially, no risk.
We all know someone who talks a good game. Says all the right things at all the right times but when it comes down to action-they’re nowhere to be found.
I had an assistant like that; she said she loved her job, she said she was a team player, she said she was reliable and dependable.
Her actions told me a different story; she gossiped about everything, was rude to her fellow employees and always late to work. As the old saying goes:”Are you going to believe me or your lying eyes?”
Not surprisingly, she was asked to seek her success elsewhere.
My father always said: “Actions speak louder than words.” How you behave tells the real story of your beliefs, values and priorities.
Sometimes your actions are speaking so loudly, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.
Why do we sometimes say one thing and do another?
Many times it’s the result of peer pressure or self-esteem. A bit of “Mom, all the kids are doing it” rationale for what we know is bad behavior. This is normal, common and easy to understand.
Once you realize why you’re choosing the behavior, you can use the parent in you to rein in the child by reciting all the reasons acting in alignment with your values is ultimately worth more than the short term satisfaction of acting out.
In other cases the reason is because we really don’t believe the values we speak. We say what we think our audience wants (needs) to hear and than act in accordance with our true values, beliefs and priorities. This behavior leads to mistrust and misunderstanding and ultimately keeps you from reaching your goals.
Take the time to examine your true values & beliefs and, unless their criminal or hurt someone else, embrace them in every part of your life, including your speech. The real you, bad behavior and all, is infinitely more interesting than the one who spouts what everyone wants to hear.
One caution: If you’re beliefs and values are truly out of step with those of your employee, fellow workers, family or friends, be prepared to have some discomfort while they (and you) work through the change. You may have to change to find the environment where you are accepted for who you are but if it’s important to you-go for it.
Make today the day you begin to act in harmony with your beliefs, values and words.
